A 3 month pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.

  • Doctor:You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
  • Woman:Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
  • Doctor:Denise.
  • Woman:Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
  • Doctor:Denephew.

    • "I am born again. Out of the lions den. I don’t have to pretend."

    � Katy Perry - Wide Awake (via theworldwillrollitseyes)

  • My Dad:If Tim Burton directed The Hunger Games he would cast Johnny Depp as Katniss.

    • (Source: bitches-with-freedom, via seeeemyvest)

    (via grintvera)

    barrowmans:

    omfg so today I saw a man and a woman holding hands in public, i mean i don’t have anything against heterosexuality but don’t flaunt it in front of me, think of the kids omfg

    (Source: oncebarrowmans, via medicatedreamer)

    scarlettjohanssonmaga:

    Scarlett Johansson  Elle - Avril 2012 (4-2012a) France

    (via jolieing)

    (Source: singmylittlesong, via jesuisgarconfemme)

  • me:does 5 situps
  • me:where are my abs

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